I eat Oatmeal

So I have finished two months of school, whether or not I finished them successfully or not is still yet to be decided. Biology seems to be like a mountain I want to overcome simply because its the one class that can make me the most miserable. I'm not sure what feeling I will feel if I overcome this battle but if something keeps kicking you in the butt your a punk not to hit back right??  But I might be slowly getting the hang of it. I can tell you about cells, what differs in plants and animal cells, what some strong bonds are and different types of macromolecules. Unfortunately I'm still not a place where I can raise my hand and answer questions in class.

My other classes are ok. My archery class has made it clear that I need upper body strength. I'm making plans to achieve this but anything that has to do with exercise seems to fall on the back burner. Spanish still sucks mainly because I can't spell. And Psychology is psychology. I think I'm getting the hang of what it means to be a real student.

This next class and my job go kinda hand in hand. Dental Assisting and Dental Assisting. I learn a crap load of information in a three hour class then go into the office and learn how to actually perform procedures. Truthfully so far the only time the things I learn in class seem to come into use is when I'm watching Bones and she calls out words from class. Like "he was hit on his occipital  protrusion" and I'm like Oh on the back of his head :) So far I've been enjoying the experience some days the pace is fast, others real slow but that's life in a Dental office.

So thats how school is coming along, but I really wanted to share what I choose to eat today. I feel proud of myself.

Breakfast
1 boiled egg
1 bowl of oatmeal
1 yogurt
1 apple

Lunch
Crackers and Creme Cheese
Bowl of Salad
and a Orange.

But I'm writing this before dinner soooo will I end the day with a Bang?! Idk I'll let you know later

a very late update

Hello out there. I'm really sorry for my disappearance and I'm not sure if my apology will be seen by anyone since its been so long since I have updated this but I'm putting it out there any. I'm sorry but I'm back.

Since I've yet to update you let me start by saying I am no longer in Saipan. I haven't been for the past four months or so and I do miss it so. But although I'm no longer living an adventure in Saipan battling mountain sides dogs or my roomie I am trying my best to make something of my self here in Bermuda and its been proving to be a challenge.

I'm currently back in College!! And its been hectic. It sucks I'm no longer the teacher people don't address me as Miss. Priya and no one really knows me. It's sad cause I've lived here all my life I should know a healthy amount of people right?. Either way it works for me. I have decided I'm not here to make friends unless they can help me with my grades.

This year my load isn't going to be full of bogger and tears...(maybe it will I'm working in a dental office) but books and wait for it....wait for it... TEETH. You must be like what? Teeth? yeah I am working on becoming a dental assistant and then maybe in my future a dental hygienist! So when I'm not in school I'm at the dentist office sterilizing instruments suctioning blood calling patients all that jazz. I'm also taking a certification course in Dental Assisting and college classes Biology, Psychology, Spanish and Archery. So time for other things might be sparse in the next few weeks. But I just want to make things happen this year not just say things I want to happen.

So that my educational struggle. For those of you who are interested in my Spiritual struggle. Well its a struggle. It is much harder to find time for God here then it was in Saipan. For one thing everyone around isn't about the religious. So now its up to me to do it on my own. I'm trying to do morning worships which dont happen every day but I can see its clear that I need to yet again work harder in this. It was kind of encouraging though when my boyfriend suggested we do a couples devotions Sabbath mornings. I'd really like that so I want it to become a reality for us for a long period of time.

And yes I did say Boyfriend. We are still happily dating but that to requires work. I guess when I prayed for strength to not be lazy God gave me a lot of exercises to keep me occupided. Be careful what you pray for folks. I will do my best not to abandon you again even if I'm the only one reading.

Take Care
Making Living the Dream Real

Change of Heart, Peace of Mind :)

May 14, 2011

I got a new spiritual Birthday :)Today I was re-baptized and I must say the feeling was so relieving.  The night before had been so stressful. See I had already decided that getting re-baptized was something I wanted to do. I’ve struggled with the idea of it for a year, asked multiple pastors what their thoughts on it was, ignored all appeals even though I felt I should do this but I finally stood and walked to the front.

I wanted to get re-baptized because I wanted to make a public affirmation of my decision to follow Christ. I know a lot of people would probably say this move was more suited to someone who left the church had lots of sex smoked a lot of pot was all about partying in the skankiest clothes and such but I guess what you don’t know was my struggle can’t be seen as an outward struggle. My struggles where all welled up inside me.

I have a skill of somewhat masking up my emotions, so what you didn’t see was my anger, my very scarily close decisions to walk away from God 100% completely, things I felt I put higher then God himself. So spiritually I guess I looked ok. I would go church from time to time and join in some church activities but I was still in trouble.

Since coming out here you have read about a lot of changes I have been making within myself and how I notice there are things I wish to change to make my relationship with God real. Well May 13, 2011 mid-afternoon I knew getting re-baptized was a must and I was going to do when I returned home. Then during the evening at the last of Keith Phillips meetings the thought hit me. To be re-baptized is to die to self. I had to give everything to God before I go under. And sadly it wasn’t something I wanted to do. I spent a night pretty much a had a mini fast prayed, prayed, cried, prayed, journalized, prayed a bit more then fell asleep unhappy. When I woke up later the next morning I had come around in my decision. I would not go to hell for my wants here on earth; instead I would give it all to God and go from there. And then there was peace.

I walked up said my vows and such in front of the church cried walked to the beach and went to my watery grave and came up a better person. I felt better, I felt lighter, I felt happier. Since the decision was made overnight none of my family or friends knew but I’m sure they will be happy when they hear the news. Now all that’s left is to keep living this life style and hope to be some sort of example to those around me and to keep seeking out Christ and learning to love him more each day.

Its a Question Answer It.

Can a man truly obtain happiness on earth?

Imagination

“Do hear that?”

“The rain? What of it?”

 “The pitter patter, what do you think is coming?”

“More rain…all grey clouds, crappy day if you ask me. I’m going to sleep.”

 “I’ll wait.”

“Whatever.”

“Just a little bit longer….” 

The sky brightens for no more than three seconds tops. As my brother walks away I listen to the creaks in the wood and his bedroom door close. Click. The ticking of the clock, its quarter past nine. Someone left the faucet running again. It’s so loud but I still here them coming. How can you not? The pitter patter is so loud.  The color grey why is it considered so bland?  If you ask me I think it makes the world look so much more.  Probably the contrast browns, red, greens, and when the big guy upstairs flicks the lights it’s just so... Days like these are always promising. So promising in fact that you can smell it before it even comes. I think I will go outside feel its embrace and welcome whatever it is that is coming. There steps are so loud, as it should be they bring refreshing life. Show yourself please show yourself…

Crack. “Hello? I know you’re here.” Ah there he is. Hmm the pitter patter was so loud how could there be only one. I see you’re just the first and red. I hear more. It’s amazing it’s so loud the roar the vibrations orange, yellow, and green. Such beauty such freedom I see the big guy likes it too there go his lights again and what a sight it allows me to view. They circle me so free so strong. More enter the open space we call our back yard blue, indigo, violet.  They run but it’s as if their feet don’t touch the ground. So many, the pitter patters, how can one ignore this, their movements as one creates this wind that can’t be ignored. I feel what they feel as each one moves by me in harmony. And as soon as they come they stop. They line up and look at me. And as soon as they come they are gone jumping together as one across the sky. I can’t hear the pitter patter any more. But I do hear the door open.

“You’re going to get sick. Come inside.”

“You missed it! You shouldn’t have gone sleep they were here. The..”

“Ha! I could hardly sleep too much noise.  Now come inside your hair is windblown and you’re all wet. Well isn’t that a beautiful rainbow. Would like to know how they are made?”

“No thank you but I have a pretty good idea.”

I can’t wait to see you again you beautiful creatures until then enjoy your dance with someone else…

Three Months My Own Person

Or not, after three months I’m not my own person. Sure I’ve been given a bit more leeway I buy my own groceries, I come home on my own time, the money I have I spend on whatever I want for myself. But you know what after three months I don’t even know who my own person is. Everything I named off is some sort of responsibility that comes with being some form of an adult. But being responsible doesn’t make you your own person. The most irresponsible person in the world can be their own person because they know who they are what they want not giving a care in the world about a bill to pay, or how they should budget appropriately to buy food to last them the month.

Who is my own person? My own person will be revealed when I can ask my parents for advice and not permission, when I do things and not care what another person thinks. My own person will be revealed when I make up my mind and go after what I want. Three months in Saipan and you know what I’m a little better off then I was when it comes to decision making. I might maybe be a little bit more responsible.  But I wonder as I write my thoughts on paper and give you liberty to see my aspirations, what will your thoughts be when you see me in person, when you live with me.  I don’t want to be a poser so I guess I have to prove this for myself and become someone I am proud of. To do the things I believe will make me happy. And then maybe three years down the road I’ll pick my computer up and tell you who I am and how happy I am for making decisions for me.

Three Months as a Teacher

So not many people know this about me, or perhaps they do they just choose to ignore it BUT I use to be an Anime fanatic. So there was this one show called (I can’t really remember now) and it was about angel like beings who fall in love with people and like form some type of connection that can’t be broken. This connection can only be ignited with a kiss. Well of course there’s this bad guy who sets up like a fighting game where the angel like beings had to fight and “turn off” the other angels (let’s just say each angel had an off button.) And a rule was if you didn’t fight disciplinary squad would come and force you to fight and you didn’t want this to happen because the disciplinary squad was practically unbeatable. So you had to fight to keep your love. Why do I bring this story up? Well after three months working at the CDC I have become….The Disciplinary Squad (of one).

So since working here I have become the Disciplinary Squad. Every so often I come up with new ways to effectively punish my children whilst all the while spearing the rod. Lately my test subject (Richard) has been testing the waters in the bath tub. So there’s never any water in the tub when I put him in there but it seems to be the only area that he won’t leave and run around because of the boundaries the tub walls have set up. That was until today. Today he started climbing it even when I was sitting on the toilet right behind him. Today I ended up just sitting him in a comfy couch and gave him a toy airplane. Yeah yeah all you critics “that’s not punishment” sure but it kept him out of everybody’s hair for a whole 30 minutes.  But it’s been three months and I can honestly I feel I have established a role as teacher in my classroom

I just love walking into class I get a mix of kisses I love you’s and hugs! Listen to stories (on most days and when I can understand) can be enjoyable. Playing games and making arts and crafts. I can switch from friend to serious teacher now most times. I still have to repeat myself constantly but I learned eye contact works pretty good. Unfortunately I still have to listen to hundreds of complaints about this person hitting me this person is not my friend and blah blah blah but I’m not such a sap anymore so I can look at the kid and instead of picking them up and letting the wail on in my bosom I can say “your good kid, go play.”

If you remember before I had a pee situation, well I fixed it I stopped working that shift. Sadly even though I avoided that situation my bare foot and I were in for a surprise. One of my students was sitting in a corner by herself and I walked to her to figure out what was wrong because it was playtime. My mistake… I didn’t see the puddle infront of her. I stepped forward and then I was able to put two and two together. Child sitting quietly and embarrassed during play time+ plus puddle my foot was sitting in= Child has peed is embarrassed and your foot is sitting in it. I defiantly wished I wore shoes in class that day.

Overall Teaching is an interesting experience. I’ve come to love all my children and I think I will really miss them when I leave in June. So ,three months as a teacher it’s been challenging but it has also been great.

I feel mind-numbingly dumb in my heart. In my soul. In my body.

It’s like I’m always hungry and I go to the candy store always with twenty  cents, and the cheapest candy well I need about thirty pennies more.

I don’t fake my happiness, but this emptiness I can’t simply ignore.

So every day I pray a little bit more for about two things. The one I miss the most, and my body a new person it’ll host. 

Life is a journey and my mom says everyone will experience heart break once or twice in their life. So I’ll wait it out, slowly save my Lincolns .

A Girl Can Dream

I'm twirling on a ballroom floor. My dress is beautiful, flowing yellow and slightly raising as I turn under his arm. His smile is my domino effect because now I'm smiling. We sway together and everything feels right. But the music it slows and he allows me one final spin but our hands they let loose and where separated. I turn to look at him and give a little bow he acknowledges with the tip of his hat and our dance is over.

I turn away and start to make my way to a bench while I watch dancers sway to music. But its like I'm not there because there locked in each others eyes. And as they sway they bump and brush shoulders with me. But they don't notice. I wonder if this is the same for my domino effect, but I decided it's best if I don't look back. I finish my walk back to this bench I now share with solo dancers and take a seat and simply observe.

Solo dancers come and go, the music speeds up and slows. But I sit and think. I have so much time to think. This party is almost over I pick my self up and decided to make moves. I can dance on my own. And its so much fun I'm comfortable with what whatever the band throws and I twist and shimmy and make a final twirl into the arms of my domino effect who would have known at the end of this party he would have the last dance. Who knew...

Hashers and Cave Dwellers

My first Sabbath in Guam proved to be quite interesting. After a wonderful service potluck and a twenty minute nap, Silvia, Tina, John, Monica, Louis, Gabe, and I went for a hike. The name of the trail we went on was called … As we were walking we went through the many phases of a jungle and such. Phase one was a lot of shrubbery or itchy grass phase two was down hill and mossy phase three rocky terrain lots of dead trees and  phase five rock climbing down the rest of the mountain side.  Now it took us a good minute to make it down this hill or mountain side whatever you want to call it and I was hoping our final destination was worth this effort.

Our final destination was a cave with fresh water pools inside of it that we were going to go swimming in. We started down our decent in the cave and I had a tiny slip up and stub my knee and then scrapped my arm against the side of wall. It wasn’t much father down when we got to the pool.  We slowly got in the water because since the sun never warms the water it was Ice Cold. But all of us kids (im still a kid) climbed in and explored the cave. The water got deep enough to cover our whole body standing.  We had flash lights and we swam around because soon our body acclimated to temperature of the water. Of course I soon suggested that we turn off all the lights and play Marco polo. That was interesting cause no one could see and all the polo’s kept quiet so we ended up randomly flashing the lights on and off so Marco could get a small idea of where people where. We stubbed our toes on underwater rocks was able to walk right by people without them knowing and we were scared cause we had no idea what was in front of our faces. When we finally reemerged from the cave we took a short water and apple break while the mosquitoes took a break on me. As I’m writing this I can count at least 17 mosquito bumps on me.

We were about to head back when Monica told me there was more to the tail and we were going to see the coast line we just had to climb this small little incline and go through the trees. I don’t know how this happened but Silvia John Gabe and I got lost mid transaction and could not find our way to this alleged coast line.  We were walking around trying to find the others and or the coast line for about 30 minutes with no luck.  All the while there were about a hundred hashers running up and down through the forest. I asked them what are they doing they replied, “Were a drinking club, with a running problem.” What they do is follow some trail of flour to get to a final destination and when they do they drink to their hearts content. This trail had them jumping up and down looking for the next flour spot and they get lost find their way it’s pretty intense. I was shocked to see one man who looked to be 60 years old bringing up the rare. So here I am lost in jungle like surroundings with all these runners who think it’s funny to lead us the wrong way too getting eaten alive and then I think. Let’s just walk up the mountain and wait at the car. And that’s what we do but right as we get to the start of the mountain we bump into our lost comrades Tina Monica and Louis. Which is great we walk up and that in itself almost kills me make it to our truck ride home bathe and get ready for outback steakhouse. Cause for those of you who don’t know “I’m in steak eating club with a running problem”

Tsunami Warning

 As many of you I am still keeping Japan in my prayers. They had like a double whammy earthquake and tsunami destroying and killing so much. During that time there where still many more countries that were scared as to what the after effects was going to be. For Saipan we were worried that the shock would cause a Tsunami to come headed our direction wiping this tiny island out and most like the surrounding islands as well. I found out on Friday while I was waiting for my last student to go home. Joey came in and was like "So we have a tsunami warning." and then walked out the room. I can honestly say I wasn't even slightly scared. I just kept talking and doing whatever. At least on the outside. On the inside I wasn't as calm I wasn't wreck but I wasn't as lackadaisical as I was ten min earlier. I mean I was kind of sad that I could die millions of miles away from home with out those that I am closest to.

A few minutes later my last students parents arrived I shot off a few emails and Joey and I headed home. The streets were unusually packed I dared to wonder why, Police were up and down the street flashing lights, and if any one had the guts to J-walk that day I'm sure they would have become a pancake because no one besides Joey and I were driving under 60 miles per hour. When we got home everyone was in the same sort of state I was quite but still moving about packing things. I put a change of clothes my laptop and passport in bag and sat and just waited with the guys for what to do next.

Then we got news from the police that we needed to evacuate to higher ground my compound came out and said a prayer together and we all (each group) went our separate ways. My group went to Mount Tapachow. There was a family from the church who lived up there and a few other family's were going to have haystacks there as per usual Friday night dinners. On our way no gas station was empty people were lined out of them and the gas station attendants were closing. Driving up the mountain you saw people just sitting on the ground waiting with a six pack of beer and their radios. Soon we got to the family's house which was really nice and started our own little camp out. So there we were with a panoramic view of the ocean high up in the mountain waiting for a potential Tsunami while eating Haystacks and singing worship songs. By nine it was told we could go back to our house and the threat would be over so that what we did. We went home, called our family's and went to bed. (I actually slept in my house alone cause my room mate got scared and slept in the other peoples house.)

It wasn't the most fun experience but still something I could learn from. Today is promised to no man. What happened to Japan could have happened to Saipan lucky for us we had warning I was able to say what could have been last words to my loved ones. Were as those in Japan could not. So take this away if anything leave nothing that needs to be said unspoken. You might not have a second chance.

That Janitor Guy

So my duties as a teacher flip flop all over the place. Im no longer a Coach and I must say my last game was AMAZING AND HEART PUMPING for the last 16 min maybe I’ll tell you about that later. The reason I’m no longer coaching is because we got knocked out so as a result my schedule changed. Instead of going to the elementary (which I must say I did enjoy doing) I stay at the CDC with the adorable 2-5 year olds. Around four o clock I start cleaning.

Now you know in the movies you have those high school Janitors in overalls and rag hanging out their back pocket with yellow head phones in their ears grooving to some out of date music oblivious to the world around them. You can say that’s me minus the overalls, out of date music (though tony might beg to differ) and a rag out my pocket. LOL so how can that be me. I am oblivious to the world I blast my music grooving while pushing a vacuum cleaner periodically nodding my head at children running by me. Each day I’m asked about my selection of music and the teachers tell me how cool I am. Either way I just imagine I’m THAT Janitor guy I guess the lesson I get from this. I’ll know how to clean I mean I’m cleaning the whole class room, washing the dishes, cleaning up bathrooms, and still finding time to be a teacher. BOO yah. It’s still fun losing myself being that janitor guy.

A Whole New Me

For those that know me I would think that they would agree that on a whole I’m not a bad person. I don’t steal, I don’t tell serious lies, I won’t try to steal my best friend’s boyfriend, I haven’t killed anyone as of yet so yah, I’m an overall good gal. But since I’ve come to Saipan I’ve learned that I have a long way to become the person I believe God wants me to be.

There’s this guy name Carlos he preaches frequently at my church here and I always feel when he speaks he hits a tender spot in my life. Last week his message was on the health message, main focus food and to be even more specific meat. He spoke on how meat is really unhealthy and not good for the body. He backed it up with the bible and EGW and just simple facts. So because of this sermon, added with my mindset of an overall change, I am deciding that meat should be cut out of my diet. This is difficult because I love COW, everything else I can give up fairly easily but me and cow we good friends in a twisted way. But If I want to become the woman I aspire to be this is an important step. I need to take the best care of my body that I can. So what I decided to do is not to buy any meat to bring into my house and only eat meat on occasions that I go out to eat.  This saddens me slightly cause I was going to go grocery shopping soon and was looking forward to turkey bacon. I know this will be hard but by time I come home I hope it’s something I will overcome.

Outside of sermons I have my personal devotion. Early I mentioned how Proverbs 31:10-31 is the guide line I have chosen for my life and one verse speaks of a woman keeping her home clean and not being idle. So this might take a while, but I decided I would first tackle keeping my room clean. If I can do this I know I’ll be one step closer to becoming the woman I want to be. It’s funny I have talked about marriage but honestly how do I expect t to keep a home if I can’t keep my room in order. When I master this ill add more.

Of course you already know that I’ve been working on becoming more spiritually mature. I believe it’s coming along fine. So far I’ve enjoyed everything I have read. Now I’m reading Daniel which is different from everything else I have read because everything else was on how to make me a better woman. But this to I find hard to keep because other things seem more appealing at the time I choose to read my bible. Also I have started giving bible studies on Saturday afternoons. Its nerve racking and I pray I can really help and not lead people astray but it’s a new experience and so far also enjoyable.

I wish to change to become a better woman, physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. I am trying to have a more responsible mindset. I have a loooooong way to go but I know I have the support of my God my Family and my Friends. So when I come home I hope the people who have known me for my whole life will see a difference and that when my environment changes from Saipan to whatever else I don’t but that I keep on this path to becoming that virtuous woman.

A Bucking Parrot Fish

MEN ARE SO TERRITORAL! lol actually I mean to say males are territorial. Yesterday I went to the beach on Managaha and I can say when I returned to the main island I was tanned and relaxed. The majority of the time spent was napping and enjoying the beauty of the island. Towards the end of the day I decided I should at least spend some time in the water the wind had died down and I was getting hot.  Sera and I decided we would go snorkeling. I had a lot of fun but I felt nervous cause it was really shallow and I really didn’t want my chest scraping coral. So we decided to just hop from sand patch to sand patch to it got deeper. This made me laugh because I felt like some big bumbabling giant who couldn’t walk properly cause I was tripping over the coral and trying so hard not to break the tiny homes but failed miserably. Finally we settle down and I begin to snorkel. It was amazing! There is so much beauty under the sea. I saw so many shades of fish and all sorts of sizes. One fish I really liked looking at was a black and white fish but it wasn’t stripped it was spotted and it had an orange strip that went all the way around the edge. I saw big blue starfish and pretty orange coral.

So I’m enjoying  my underwater adventure when I swim into a certain males territory. The male Parrot Fish. This fish is a little bit bigger than the other fish but still considerably small. He has the most beautiful colors painting his sides but an man did he have and attitude. The min I get into his “space” This tiny fish starts bucking at me. AT ME! It swims side to side and then swims straight at my face and then at the last min backs off. Swims side to side then bucks bucks. Honestly he pushed me back at first. Then I start to crack up laughing and I continue to have this face off with the fish. Sera swims up next to me and puts her hand to scare him but this little bugga attacks her fingers so she screams and pulls her hand back. This has me dying. So we decide to leave the fish along and swim away.  We come to another part of the beach and guess who we meet, another bucking parrot fish. This time his attention is solely directed on Sera. He is going crazy I swear it was a sight.  So she has her stare off but then she threatens him saying she will make him lunch when she stands up and then she screams. The fish this time didn’t just buck it hit her leg. If I was on land I probably would have dropped to ground laughing. Sera is like fine and we swim out but as I was watching underwater the fish swam right next to her bucking and he whole length until we was away from his territory. You ask me, that’s a pretty ballsy fish they gave me a good laugh that day. But hey it shouldn’t have been surprising; I’ve been living with territorial men my whole life. It’s just the male way of life.

My Pro Verbs

My devotion time has really blossomed lately. The book I had decided to start reading first on this new journey of mines is Proverbs. What I came to find was that the book itself was very repetitive. But in it I found interesting texts and a few gems. So I decided for my next blog I would share the verses I really liked.

My favorite was Proverbs 17:22 “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” Since I’ve been here in Saipan I sometimes get depressed and miss my family, my boyfriend, and my friends. Other things also factor in also but the fact is the depression is noticeable as I get quite and don’t talk much. So one night at dinner after my friends had been pesking me about what was wrong I just rested my head on the table and thought for a little bit. And this proverb is what came to mind. I decided that you not I am not enjoying my night because I am choosing not to be happy. So the best medicine was a merry heart and how could I get that? I thought about the better things the more enjoyable things I have experienced as well as how much I love my friends and family and that there supporting me and waiting for my return. Also I had been reading a book my boyfriend’s mother gave me for my birthday called the happiness project and she says you should act the way you want to feel. So that’s also what I did I raised my head with a creepy big smile and joined in the conversation. Before I knew it my attitude had really changed and I wasn’t acting the way I wanted to feel but I really felt the way I wanted to.  A merry heart really is the best medicine.

Another verse I would like to bring attention to doesn’t really do anything for me emotionally or spiritually it’s just a funny story. Proverbs 20:10 “Divers weights and divers measures, both are like abomination to the Lord.”  I didn’t misread the text or misspell the word divers it says divers in my King James Version Bible. I was so confused because why would God dislike divers’ weights. So I go to my group’s nightly worship and I bring it up, they are all just recently certified scuba divers, and they all look at me like no way hardy har har. So I say bring me a bible. We look it up sadly in another translation and I find out in front of them that God wasn’t talking about divers but rather false balances diverse. So now I look like a retard who can’t read and my roommate tries to help me out by saying she does her devotion 6 in the morning give her some slack… I don’t get any. To make things worse when I get to school the next day to coach my co coach Mitchy and his twin brother Kay are rubbing it in my face asking me if they are going to hell cause they dive and God won’t like them. Really! So this goes on for a little bit and in return I do make Mitcheys life miserable in practice working him extra hard but still I now look like a bigger blond.

As I was collecting the verses I would like to use for this blog I relocate the verse and I read divers again. I make my roommate read it and she sees why I thought what I did and then I started to try UN blond myself and prove to the world what King James wrote. At the end of the day they still laugh at me but it’s all good. BUT here’s the list of Proverbs that enjoyed and I hope you enjoy them as well.

Proverbs 6:9-10 “How long wilt though sleep O sluggard? When wilt though arise out of thy sleep? Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man.” (I am very lazy and I love to sleep)

Proverbs 6:16-19  “These six things doth the Lord hate: yea seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, an heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaketh lies and he that soweth discord amoung brethren. “(This text sums up all of Proverbs.)

Proverbs 11: 7 “When a wicked man dieth his expectation shall perish: and the hope of unjust men perisheth.”

Proverbs 11: 16 “A gracious woman retaineth honor: and strong men retain riches.”

Proverbs 11:22 “As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.”

Proverbs 12:4 “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 13:4 “The soul of the sluggard desireth, and have nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.”

Proverbs 14:1 “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”

Proverbs 14:29 “He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exaleth folly.”

Proverbs 15:17 “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.”

Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.”

Proverbs 19:11 “The discretion of a man defereth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.”

Proverbs 20:1 “Wine is a moker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.”

Proverbs 20:29 “The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the grey head.” (Daddy your beautiful)

Proverbs 21:9 “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.” (I thought of you Tony J)

Proverbs 22:1 “A good name is rather to be chosen then great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.”

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 25:21,22 “If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the Lord shall reward thee.”

Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.”

Proverbs 28:1 “The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion.”

Proverbs 29 :15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left himself bringeth his mother to shame.”

Proverbs 30  You should take time to read for yourself cause I don’t feel like writing all of that out. But a summary of it is the type of people Solomon warns about the types of charateritcs we should avoid are going to be in the surplus in a coming generation and I would say the generation he was talking about is our own.

The last is kind of my guideline to the woman I want to be.

Proverbs 31: 10-31 A virtuous woman.

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."

Coach Carter

So I have become head coach for the boy’s team and co-captain for the girls. When I volunteered I originally just wanted to coach the girls but the principle Micheal Burgland had his appendix rupture thus a boys coach was in order and Coach Priya was born.

I have had a lot of fun with them you should have seen me from the start I had no idea what their names were and some coach right. Running up and down shouting KID HANDS UP! NUMBER 14 NUMBER 14! PASS THE BALL. But after time I got it. On my Girls team we have Pauline, Joy, Danessa, Hope, Katherine, and Julie. For my boys there is Tyler, Yushiki, Hiroki, Damen, Joey, Raven, Jude, and Jether.  I feel so proud of myself.

So I titled this entry coach carter for a reason. My team is built up from 5-8^th grade and since this is still school grades are important. Now I’m never really a happy person when I come to the elementary school from the CDC ready for a game and I find out such and such can’t play because they were disruptive in class. So punishment is you can’t play for the first two quarters. This sucks for me because its usually my better players. But I accept it.

Recently though I myself had to enforce it. I came to the school ready and excited for the upcoming game when I notice one of my team members was balling (no pun intended) his eyes out. I look at the other boys to find out what happened and they whisper his grades. Come to find he is not allowed to play at all because of a situation dealing with a test he took that day. I felt sorry for the kid because to him this game was very important. So I go to Miss Tina to find what exactly happened. He had completed his math test that day without doing any of the working. So Miss Tina called him back to do the work and instead he just switched around some answers but still no working. She looked at me and said I’m sorry but it’s not fair for him not to do his work. So I go back to him pull him to the side and have a chat…so this part of my coaching is new, cause its mainly just lay ups, how to box out, jumping for the rebound, dribbling. Today I had to talk to my kid about his work and its importance. It was tough because he’s crying into my shirt because he doesn’t want to be seen and when were finally alone he kept his head in his shirt so I couldn’t see.  I explained to him that it was important that his grades are improved because basketball as good as he is at playing it will not help him in his future. I encouraged him to redo the test as Miss Tina suggested, and to take his time and not to be afraid to ask for help. I told him that if he does his best and focuses he could be finished in time to play the second half. So that’s what he did, he was able to make it for the last quarter. He was a great addition to my already tired team. But what I really enjoyed was the grade Miss Tina presented me after the game. She had graded it and he only got one wrong.  Im pretty sure he must have felt more confident when it comes to work after such a great improvement.

So it’s nothing as great as the real deal Coach Carter but I’m glad I can help out the few kids I play Basketball with. And yes it’s a bummer when they can’t play or they miss practice for study hall but at the end their getting prepared for a bigger world. And I think that’s a hard concept for them to learn because here in Saipan its almost if your born here your stuck here. So for at least these 14 kids I hope I can help change that way of thinking.

Three weeks Long Distance Relationship

Ok so this transition has been a transition for the past nine months. See I live in Bermuda and my wonderful boyfriend of two years lives in Maryland. Since I didn’t go back to school last fall we were not able to be together like the previous year. Not that long distance as painful as it was, was more tolerable because our time was only an hour off, and we could skype all night and all day (when I wasn’t working) long. Also we would text each other more frequently so communication wasn’t the issue. HERE we are 15 hours apart when it’s my day it’s his night. We can’t communicate by phone cause messages from the state don’t reach back to me. When I call its always at obnoxious hours of the night, and it’s just hard.

I feel like there’s a lot going on and I’m just not in the picture anymore. When you ask me about my life and his in the next four months there won’t be mentioning of my name in his stories. I worry that when I bombshell back in his life will it be weird or an overload and vice versa for me. 

Well I say two years of a relationship and it’s not quite true just yet this Saturday the twelfth we will be celebrating two years together. I do love him so. This will be fun. Truly it will, maybe I’ll tell you on a day-by-day (its and idea in the making for my blog)

This is a transition I don’t like, but I’m trying to make the best out of it and I know he is to. But you know what scares me, I have a nagging thought what if while finding ourselves we find out were not meant to be. Like I’m not what he’s looking for or the opposite. It’s a four percent chance but it’s still scary you know.

Three weeks Spiritual

  Third transition and probably one of the biggest for me when it comes to finding myself overall.  So the reason I’m here is because I am a missionary. Now it’s probably problematic that the only one I think I have helped bring closer to God is myself, but it’s a working progress right? I know it’s kinda backwards and I should have already established where I am with God but it’s been a struggle for me for the past ten months.

Since I’ve been out here I’ve been surrounded by a huge spiritual influence.  I now go church every week (I know it’s only three weeks), Friday night worships with haystacks, I host a devotion at least once a week, I did the scripture reading, and the best part I’ve begun a morningish ritual personal devotion with God. This is big for me because it’s what I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I’ve been reading the pro verbs (I think that’s catchy) and it has some really good advice there. See I’ve kinda been depressed because I’m separated from a lot of people I’m close to and there’s a verse in Proverbs that have been helping me stay in a good frame of mind. “A merry heart is like medicine, and broken spirit dries the bones.” I repeat that to myself from time to time so I try to make it happen I attempt to have a merry heart. To do that I think about what the author to The Happiness Project wrote “Act the way you want to feel.” So that has been my goal.

All this is great but after three weeks I believe I have a greater purpose here in Saipan when it comes to the Spiritual Transition. My house mate every Sabbath goes out into the community and gives 5-7 min bible studies I think I want to get involved in that or some other project because Preschool teacher to me isn’t really spreading the Word because given three and four year olds understand much more then you think I believe there is still something more I can do here. So that is my goal for a greater transition.

Also I’ve come to the conclusion that when I go home I wish to surround myself with more spiritual people or be the influence on my friends to incorporate a lifestyle that includes more than movies, parties, sleepovers. I’m not saying that I’m going to go GUN HO!, everything religious because it doesn’t have to be like that but I want to try making it a bigger part of our lives.

This is one transition I think I’m molding well into I’m glad for that.

Three weeks as a Teacher

I give props to full time teachers. Second transition was becoming a teacher. The age level that I deal with daily now is 3 to 4 year olds whose favorite question is why? Any command I throw their way is constantly greeted with the question why.  It’s trying.

Before coming to Saipan I had a goal. I wanted to become more patient. I might now come off as a impatient person but that’s because as my boyfriend has told me I’m a very passive person. So I might appear calm and collected but inside I’m screaming. As a teacher my patience is being worked like a mule in Mexico, if that even makes sense.

Here is review of a typical day at work.

• ·         I’m greeted with smiles and Hugs
• ·         Then I try and settle the children down so we can go play outside
• ·         I eat many cups of so spicy sand soup
  student comes and cries about someone pushing them, hitting them, kicking them, being mean etc.
• ·         We go inside have worship (try getting a 3 year old to just sit a listen good luck)
• ·         Do arts and crafts amongst other things
• ·         More crying
• ·         More crying
• ·         Lunch
• ·         Brush teeth/ bathroom time (I occasionally get peed on btw)
• ·         Crying
• ·         Nap time
• ·         Snack time
• ·         Parents pick up children

Between the crying, children not listening, and bickering teachers I think I say my patience is being stretched. I say this in hopes it is also becoming stronger, so anything you throw at me in my future will be a piece of cake.

I’m also using this experience to also figure out if teaching is a future career for me. My mother really wants me to return to school and she would hate for me to be a college drop out. I on the other hand would prefer to know what I want to study. Although at this point in time I’m running out of time to be able to just flow with the wind. So when this trip is over I need to be prepared to start something as well as finish something, with good grades.

Here’s looking forward to the outcome. Maybe teaching will be easier once I instill fear and gain respect.

But it’s only been three weeks as an inexperienced ever-changing teacher…what did you expect?

Three weeks as My Own Person

   This is my first transition. I was welcomed to Saipan by a group of people who I now spend just about every minute of the day with. It was nice to see smiling faces. My mother and I had traveled for a lengthy period of time and you can say we were tired. But regardless five hours later we were up and headed to church.  It was a nice service. Later we were escorted by the same group of people around the island on tour of this small but bigger then my own island. It was tiring. After this we went out for dinner. I now see this is just about how I would be spending quite a bit of my days from now on.

   Day 2 in Saipan I moved in with my new roommate Sera. These three weeks have been great. We connect on a level spiritually like were kinda on the same walk. Though I know it’s different in a hundred different ways. She is an interesting person, like the kinda person you meet in movies. Loves black and white movies, loves life, loves awesome all about life books, and did a drastic move to a country on the other side of the world! But we’re not talking about her own person were talking about mine.

   These past three weeks I’ve had to learn how to budget. Meaning I have to shop for groceries that will last, pay gas bill for the car, pay for my internet, use my own spending money it’s hectic. I don’t know how grown up, grownups do it with mortgages, and children and bigger stresses then the ones I’m going through. It’s sad but I think I’ll listen to my boyfriend when he says after we get married we wait 2.5 years before children that would be one less hassle.

So here is a list of what I’ve learned:

• ·         You can’t live off of bread meat and cheese. (they run out fast)
• ·         Cars eat money
• ·         Living the life of social life minus responsibility should sooo taking advantage of that when I get home
• ·         Things add up fast two hundred dollars can slip out your fingers like soap
• Being my own person is harder than I thought and I’m pretty sure it’s not about to get any easier

my last move

My last move was from Bermuda to Saipan. I learned that age 20-25 is when you find your self so I figure this is me finding myself and if your interested feel free to read on. One month before making this move I was about to start college pursue a career in the culinary arts doing either baking or butchering.

I saw on a Facebook status that there was a need for another student missionary and one month before school I hopped on a plane and headed miles from home to become a preschool teacher. And here I am, teacher and student this is going to be an interesting year.